I had a dentist’s appointment this morning (clean bill of tooth health, and very clean teeth!) and I was reminded that I never know when I should open my mouth and how widely.
I feel like if you do it too early, like when you’re letting the person at the front desk know you’re there, that comes across as creepy. But if you wait until the very last moment you run the risk of lip contusions and befuddled dental hygienists.
His face is relatively unlined – the impact, in part, of the stem cells he pays a Swiss clinic to insert in him every 12 to 18 months for $34,000 a time, for the past 20 years.
Why John Cleese is reviving Fawlty Towers | The Australian
This article is an interesting read, especially given it is framed as “John Cleese is working so hard in his old age because he doesn’t have much money.” But really, he doesn’t have enough money to buy an estate in a tropical locale and not fly commerical. He can, however, afford yearly $34,000 stem cell procedures.
I think he’s doing ok.
It’s also true that Trump could win this election in a popular vote. Given that Trump’s not in office, it will probably be fair.
Joe Kahn: ‘The newsroom is not a safe space’ | Semafor
I read the New York Times on a daily basis, and I don’t envy the media’s position on just about any front. People want high quality news, but they don’t want to read long articles, don’t want to pay for it, and don’t want it to challenge them.
The media wants to be seen as an impartial reporter, which is just not something most people are interested in.
I do think it is troubling to read that since the leading candidate for President isn’t in office the election will probably be fair.
What a time to be alive!
I wrote this essay several weeks ago when I was feeling a tiny bit stressed. Ok, maybe I was feeling a whole cartload of stress. But not an Aldi cartload. No, no. Have you ever seen those novelty shopping carts that are the size of monster trucks? Sort of like that cartload, only bigger.
Hmm, maybe a cart isn’t the best unit of measurement of stress.
Anyway, I’m feeling much less stressed at the moment and all is well. This came out a little less zippy and full of pep than my usual writing (at least I think I’m a peppy writer full of zip, your opinion may vary), so I wasn’t sure if I should share it.
I was so unsure, in fact, that I’ve kept adding to it in order to make it less “call for help” and more “blog post of a person who is honestly just fine. No need to worry! I know that’s something that someone who isn’t fine would say, but it is also something someone who is fine would say.”
I ponder death and its implications from time to time since I’m mortal and all. This post is an attempt to sum up some of those thoughts, but I honestly find this “philosophy” (ok, general outlook) to be pretty liberating. When I think about it, it gives me the power to avoid situations I’d rather not be in. For example, it allows me not engage in conversations with people I have no interest in chatting with. I can respond to any random dude who wants to quickly establish a rapport with me by mentioning some sports thing with, “I don’t care about sports” and not feel bad about it.
Re-reading this for the umpteenth time conjured up a memory from my time at Comcast. Yes, I, your humble host, once worked for the technology and media giant Comcast (a local Philly company!). Overall, it wasn’t a bad experience, and my time there included one of my favorite meeting moments ever.
I was in a fancy glass conference room with my fancy vice president boss (who was surprisingly funny). We were on speaker phone with some social media consultant talking about who knows what. It was clear that this particular consultant, with whom Comcast had worked before, really liked to talk. It is a skill that often benefits consultants, so I have no problem with that. We chatted about whatever it was we needed to talk about and finished the conversation. My boss and I looked at each other and silently seemed to agree that the meeting was over. The consultant, on the other end of the phone, seemed to think that the meeting was just getting started (were they paid by the hour? I don’t know!). My boss said, “Thanks all, we’re done here.” And just hung up the phone.
It was so great. I mean, I’m sure the consultant wasn’t a fan, but that’s why Comcast (surely) was sending them rather large checks.
Sometimes, you just have to hang up.
I feel like thinking about life as I do below gives me the ability to just hang up on those people who want to waste my time. And isn’t that what we’re all searching for?
Anyway, here’s what I wrote weeks ago, re-wrote a few weeks ago, and just re-read and modified moments before posting:
If you live life successfully your big reward is to watch almost everyone you’ve known for your entire life leave you, one by one. [See? I told you I was stressed!]
As you get older, it starts to feel like life is just a series of other people’s deaths until you get to the last in the series (spoiler: that’s yours! And you probably won’t be aware of it. At least, I hope you won’t be aware of it. The jury is still out on if you’re aware after it. I’m thinking no, but I could be wrong. I’m not sure I want to be wrong, though. Who knows what the afterlife would be like? People (i.e. major religions) seem to think it’ll be a paradise but what if it is worse than what we have now?).
Much like eating a bag of Oreos blindfolded, you only know it is over after you’ve had the last cookie.
If I had known, you say to yourself, I would have savored that damn cookie. You would have eaten it in two bites instead of one. Hell, you might have even tasted it before shoving it down your ever-greedy gullet.
You didn’t know.
You can’t know.
You’ll never know.
That’s another one of life’s little tricks.
The other day, I was walking down a crowded street here in Philadelphia, and it suddenly occurred to me that I had no idea what was going on inside all those meat-covered skulls I was sharing space with. Whole lives, entire worlds, were happening in those gray matter jello molds, and they were all unknowable to me.
It was amazing. And stunning.
How easy it is for all of that to just go away with a small misstep or a burst blood vessel (I’ve been watching a lot of “fails of the year” compilation videos on YouTube. A lot of weird stuff happens out there, and it feels like most of those videos are half a step away from being evidence in some sort of criminal proceeding). One moment, someone is walking down the street thinking to themselves, “Why’s that creepy chubby guy staring at me with a slightly vacant look in his eyes?” and then… well, nothing.
Now, I grant you that there is a possibility that there might be something after death, but I’m pretty certain the only thing waiting for us all, crouching at the edge of our consciousness, waiting to incrementally increase its infinite expanse with our non-existence, is oblivion.
Some find that a troubling thought, but I find it quite freeing.
If there’s nothing after death, then life is meaningless on its own. There’s no invisible tally that you need to account for in front of the pearly gates or <insert appropriate religious reference here for your culture and inclination>. You aren’t following the rules to score points for the afterlife. The only things that bring meaning to your life are what you do, who you are, and the people in your life.
If you take that for a fact, as I do, that means whatever other people think about you doesn’t really matter. People can feel free to judge all they want, but the only person responsible for your happiness is you. Plus, all other people are unknowable anyway, so why waste time worrying about them?
All those mistakes you agonize over as you attempt to fall asleep? Chances are the only being in the entire known universe and across all recorded time that cares about them as much as you do is… you. In fact, you may be the only person who has ever existed or who will ever exist who remembers that mistake. Let it go; the universe doesn’t care. Why should you?
Sidenote: If I had had any graphics ability, I’d totally make a t-shirt with the phrase, “Let it go; the universe doesn’t care.”
I think about when I was 120 pounds heavier than I am now, and I decided to go to the gym on a regular basis for the very first time. Since I worked at a University (and still do!) I figured I’d take advantage of the University’s gym to get fit (though I still had to pay for a membership, which I find annoying). It didn’t occur to even fatter young me that the vast majority of gym goers at that gym would be very young, very fit people.
I couldn’t help but be self-conscious as I slowly wheezed away on the elliptical for the first several times. Then I realized something: none of those young, fit people were looking at me. Now, certainly, there were many better things to look at in that gym, but they weren’t looking at the other young, fit people either. All they seemed to be worried about was themselves: their form, how they looked, and no doubt, all the perceived imperfections that were responsible for them being at a gym instead of enjoying themselves.
Were they fit enough? Were they young enough? Were the right people looking at them? Why weren’t more people looking at them? I was, as a very fat guy, functionally invisible at the gym. Once I figured that out, I was much more comfortable at the gym, and I stopped paying for my protein shakes.
Here’s the thing: we’re all functionally invisible to the vast majority of the world.
Is this a bleak outlook on life? Perhaps. But recall, I believe that life, taken by itself, is meaningless. Isn’t the idea that it is up to us to create our own meaning liberating? It is an opportunity to make your quick visit to whatever this place is mean whatever you want it to.
Dance when everyone is looking. Eat that extra sleeve of cookies. Hug your family for a few more seconds. You’re the meaning maker, so make it happen.
This essay is part of my “Year of Essays.” You can suggest a topic using this form, and it may end up becoming a mediocre essay like this one!
Before their first trip, Steves edited the contents of Wee’s suitcase, because packing light is part of his philosophy.“What do you say?” she asked. “You’re talking to Rick Steves.”
Meet the real Rick Steves, beyond Europe to his home and passions – The Washington Post
I read 6 books in April, and I have some thoughts about them but I’ll keep it brief:
It seems like I only post bummer stuff about COVID, but COVID numbers are super low! That’s great, and I hope they go lower (though I doubt it).
Marisa and I are, increasingly, the only people wearing masks in crowded places. I’m happy to say that I’ve never had an encounter where someone has questioned me (and I don’t really know why anyone would care! I mean, sure, feel free to think I’m a wacko for wearing one but does it really have any impact on your life at all?).
I have been becoming more and more relaxed about masking. I don’t wear it at the office, though I do wear one on the commute to the office.
I don’t wear one walking outside unless I’m walking to a store because I will wear one indoors. I’ve even considered not wearing one in the public spaces of our building (though about 80% of the time, I do).
Given the boys are in preschool twice a week and we don’t have them mask (and I don’t think anyone else does), the limits of my masking routine are pretty stark. But it makes me feel better, and I haven’t had COVID yet… so it seems to be helping a bit.
Anyway, the COVID numbers are looking good and that makes me happy!
I’m back into the habit of running and I’m already seeing some cardiovascular improvement. It is funny how quickly the body gets back to it.
I also still hate running.
There was an eclipse yesterday, if you haven’t heard. I took the afternoon off from work and we took the boys and headed to the Franklin Institute‘s eclipse viewing event.
Living in a big city you can never tell if an event like this is going to be a complete madhouse or empty. Therefore, like rational people, we made a few backup plans:
Right in front of the Franklin Institute, where they had set up tents with cutouts allowing you to view the eclipse, was pretty darn jam packed. The park across the street, however, was lovely. We found a spot, deployed our blanket, and awaited the celestial event.
One of the reasons we wanted to get into one of the viewing tents, if possible, was the fact that it seemed like a bad idea to encourage two 4.5 year old boys to stare directly at the sun. Marisa, being the prepared person that she is, attached a paper plate to the eclipse glasses we got for the boys to make them even safer (any many parents in the park noted what a great idea it was!).
Philadelphia wasn’t in the path of totality, but we were in line for something like 90% occlusion. It was a lot of fun to experience this natural event with a bunch of people, even if heavy cloud cover rolled in about 10 minutes before the peak and then rolled out about 10 minutes afterwards (great timing, clouds!).
My favorite moment of the day was when the clouds finally moved and the entire park let out a joyous yelp as the moon bitten sun revealed itself.
I was trying to be present for the event, so I didn’t take that many pictures of the eclipse itself. Plus, I lack the talent to actually take good pictures, but lots of people took amazing pictures.
I’m thinking about trying to get ourselves into the path of totality for an upcoming eclipse. We’ll see!
Even though I know all the dumb things I buy will just be a burden for whoever is clearing out my space after I die I persist in purchasing things.
Case in point:
I allegedly bought these for the boys, but we all know the truth. They were on sale, though, so it could have been worse.
Speaking of worse:
Yes, I bought the Lego D&D set. I thought I could resist but then I saw the LEGO beholder and said goodbye to lots of money. The set did come with a couple of free things, so it was like Lego paid me to order it.
Woah! March just ended and I’m posting about the books I read during it. Will wonders ever cease?
A funny quirk of mine is freaking out at the end of the month that I’ve read fewer than 4 books. Turns out that this month I read 5!
I know that doesn’t matter to anyone, but it makes me happy. And here are the 5 I read:
Sammy had to have his adenoids removed on Monday, which meant the whole family spent Sunday night in a Homewood Suites in Doylestown. We were in Doylestown, which is about an hour outside of Philly, because if we had attempted to schedule the procedure at our normal place (CHOP, which is amazing) we would have had to wait for months.
Anyway, off we went to Doylestown. Sammy, and Marisa, had to be at the surgery center at 6:30am. I hung out at the hotel with Declan.
He was quite excited about his first hotel breakfast buffet (he was also excited to tell everyone we saw about his brother’s procedure).
Amongst the offerings at breakfast were individually wrapped Lenders Bagel’s (plain).
As soon as I saw them I was transported to my grandmother’s apartment on Long Island. She always had two things in her freezer:
Maybe I’ll get myself an egg bagel sometime this week in her memory (though probably not a Lender’s. They are fine, but I have better bagels available to me).
Since March 2024 is nearly done, what better time to post about the books I read in February?
I didn’t have as productive a month as I did in January, but I ended up reading 5 books, which isn’t too shabby. But were the books shabby?
Here they are:
Tonight is the first night the boys’ are sleeping in a hotel room and they are incandescently excited. Which is super cute, but not great when one of those little boys needs to be up at 6am for a procedure (it is very common and should be straightforward).
We will see if they ever go to sleep!
